so explain again why im purple
no
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
