we have officially lost it.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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