I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
