i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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