I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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