Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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