It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize