you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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