I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
