we're blogging at a bar
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
