Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
