Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
