Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
