Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
