I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
