he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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