just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My ass is underappreciated
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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