Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
