I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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