i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
