im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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