Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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