I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize