if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
