I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
two words...techno handjob
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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