Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
