The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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