i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
