If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
