i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
