girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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