margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
