you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
