Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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