fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
