lets start a swedish sibling band together
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
