Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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