Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
