Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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