every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize