her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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