Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
