Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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