How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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