If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I can't turn off my feet"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
