but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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