its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
