Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
