U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
