your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
