He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
