Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
