escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
