If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she peed on how many people?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize