she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
