This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
