i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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