he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
