your thong is hanging out like whoa
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
