booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
