we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
